They claim their “social anxiety” forbids this basic task. But Beth, who writes their prescriptions, tells me that isn’t it. They’ve just never been made to do anything on their own. (Location 658)
For most problems, Ortiz says, individual therapy has almost no proven benefit for kids. “The evidence is pretty clear that parent-based approaches are more effective.” Meaning, a therapist should treat a kid’s anxiety by treating the kid’s parents. Parents often unwittingly transmit their own anxiety to their kids. And parents are in the best position to help a child deal with her worries on an ongoing basis. (Location 796)
“Asking somebody ‘how are you feeling?’ is inducing negative feelings. You shouldn’t do that.” (Location 877)
Adopting an action orientation means focusing on the task ahead with no thought to your current emotional or physical state. (Location 902)
Adopting an action orientation, it turns out, makes it much more likely that you accomplish the task. (Location 905)
being overly prone to talking about your emotional pain is itself a symptom of depression. “If you do this”—habitually give voice to your negative thoughts or personal problems—“you’re co-ruminating at least. But I believe they are ruminating more. And rumination is the major predictor for depression.” (Location 934)
“We know that chasing positivity for yourself is actually associated with low psychological function—that it’s associated with more depressive symptoms,” (Location 945)
If your kid is afraid of dogs, you prompt her to pet a dog. (Location 972)
“Exposure therapy” is CBT’s escalating method of encouraging patients to confront things that make them uncomfortable. (Location 977)
Banishing normal chaos from a child’s world is precisely the opposite of what you would do if you wanted to produce an adult capable of enjoying life’s intrinsic bittersweetness, (Location 993)
Real play, of the developmentally beneficial sort, involves risk, negotiation, and privacy from adults:[14] the fort or treehouse built to block adults’ view. (Location 1025)
“People think that if a young guy comes from a disorderly or deprived environment, he should be held to low standards. This is misguided. He should be held to high standards. Otherwise, he will sink to the level of his environment,” (Location 1809)
Very few mental health experts have ever been poor, much less weathered forced migration or the incarceration of parents, (Location 1893)
A nine-year-old who walks home by herself enters the house full of triumph. A twelve-year-old who accomplishes the same task feels nothing. He knows this is hardly a great achievement. (Location 3568)
No single activity has been better for my kids—their spiritedness, their maturity, their sense of responsibility or sense of self—than (Location 3581)